I’m trying...

I’m doing everything right. I’m taking my herbs. I’m taking my supplements. I’m eating clean, detoxing. I use essential oils, I’m refined sugar free. I eat paleo. I don’t take any prescription drugs. I’m taking care of myself the best I can. But, I’m still sick. I’m in pain. I’m tired. Sometimes I feel like my body is shutting down, like it’s failing me. And, really, it is. This is not how God designed me. 

I’m tired of feeling this way, but I’m not giving up. I’m going to keep moving. If you’re my friend, if you’re a family member, if you’re someone getting to know me please know this: I’m trying. I’m trying to be the woman God made me to be. I’m trying to be the mother my kids need. I’m trying to be the wife my husband deserves. I’m trying to be a friend the best I can. I really am. 

Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning, like I can’t catch my breath. Sometimes I’m so sad I can’t even move. And I’m angry. But, sometimes I am thankful for he little things, sometimes I find joy and moments of peace. Sometimes I allow my husband to embrace me and tell me everything is going to be ok. Sometimes I push past the pain and believe for my miracle. Sometimes. And when I can’t, please know I’m still trying. Have grace. Because no matter what, I’m not giving up.